heavenonearth: (Default)
ᴄᴀsᴛɪᴇʟ ([personal profile] heavenonearth) wrote2016-01-17 02:00 am

angels with crushes are always problematic

[ continued from this nonsense. ]

[ castiel's brow furrows, and for a moment he's too busy trying to decide whether or not to be insulted by that to even bother with being flustered, but then dean's presenting a question he feels has an obvious answer. ]

It's been working out fine.

[ and it's not as if castiel really knows any better. this isn't exactly his area of expertise, and whatever tangled feelings he has for dean - they're not appropriate, and they're not necessary. if he's learned anything about humans, it's that love complicates things, makes everything more difficult, and dean is.. well, not something or someone that castiel is willing to risk, over something so silly as a crush, if that's what this is. what they have now? it's good. it's fine. ]

I don't see why it should change.
dadssoldier: (14)

[personal profile] dadssoldier 2016-01-17 07:26 am (UTC)(link)
[Man. He doesn't even know where to start with a response, partially because something about Cas's answer reminds him that doing anything about...well any of this...would mean that something would change. And he has to agree, what they have it pretty great. He needs help, he calls. Cas comes. And then whenever the hell the angel feels like it he disappears again. It's a system. It works.

He really shouldn't let his dick ruin that. Or the fact that he's freakin' Dean Winchester and that means that there's always more baggage attached than should ever be brought into a sexual relationship.]

You're my best friend.

[And he freezes for a second, obviously not meaning to think that thought aloud. But he clears his throat and just trudges through.]

So, me doing what I do. That doesn't bother you?
dadssoldier: (3)

[personal profile] dadssoldier 2016-01-17 07:55 am (UTC)(link)
Way to Hans Solo the moment. [And he waves a hand dismissively at Cas before taking a step back so he could pace the room properly. It made it easier, somehow, to not stand still. It gave him some ownership over the moment. And when it came to situations where he felt a little lost, he took whatever control he could get. Because just knowing complicated things. And he wasn't so damn callous that he could ignore that. Even if Cas seemed content on doing just that.

Who's idea was that stupid game anyway?]

What do you think, Cas? About me sleepin' around with other people. That doesn't, I dunno, get your panties in a bunch?
dadssoldier: (2)

[personal profile] dadssoldier 2016-01-17 03:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[Dean's pacing stops with the answer and he stares flatly at Cas for a moment. There's plenty of thoughts bouncing around in his head, some a little more painful to think about, like the last person who really honestly had any claim over him, to the silly like Cas as some jealous bulldog somehow still in a trenchcoat. But, really, it doesn't mean much. It's easy to shrug away. It's the last bit that really grates at him.]

Yeah. That's bullshit, Cas. [If he's learned anything, it's that doing what makes someone else happy usually hurts like hell. Like Sam and his whole crusade to be 'normal', like erasing Lisa and Ben's memories. There's nothing easy about being selfless.

Still. He should stop. He should leave it right where it is. But when does he ever leave good enough alone?]

And that's not exactly what I asked you.

[Shut up. This is all your fault.]
dadssoldier: (1)

[personal profile] dadssoldier 2016-01-17 08:21 pm (UTC)(link)
[Yeah. He knows that look and his knee-jerk is to rub at his forehead like he's already prepared for the headache that comes along with a defensive Cas. And he doesn't why, but that's just normal. They are literally different species here. And, he could ask, but...well. There are minefields even he doesn't want to trip. So, he'll leave Cas with his thoughts, just like he prefers to be left alone with his.

But this? This whole crush thing, he's finally opened and he'd feel like a dick if he put the lid back on it. Sure, maybe-well okay, he knew. Somewhere deep down he knew. It had taken some stubbornness to ignore it. The way he was the one Cas always answered. The scathing comments from other angels about their relationship. And he was just as oblivious to his own feelings until Bobby and Sam started pointing it out. How torn up he had been when Cas betrayed him, when he doubted him for the first time. And then when he thought he died and had clung to the asshole's trenchcoat. He didn't know what he should do with any of that. He still didn't.

But he did have a few fun ideas.

He stepped right back into Cas' personal space.]


[Yeah. Good. Right. And he grabbed the lapels of that trenchcoat now and pulled Cas against him and kissed him.]
dadssoldier: (14)

[personal profile] dadssoldier 2016-01-17 10:09 pm (UTC)(link)
[Well, he's not sure what exactly he was expecting when he locked lips with Cas, but the tenseness was a little disappointing and his first thought was 'Please Cas don't make this weird', but in hindsight he really shouldn't have expected anything else. And he might have pulled back if it wasn't for the iron grasp of those hands around his wrists. He's well aware that this could go either way and wind up with him crashing throw the wall, but even that would have been better than the stalemate they were at right before this.

He's not thinking much past the moment, but when Cas relaxes and opens up to him, he can't help but think maybe this could end...well he knows better than to think it'll end well, but maybe they could skip the normal fire and brimstone ending.

He's got to admit, that there's a warmth that settles through him when he sees those eyes flutter shut. Like Cas has got all the faith in the world in him and trusts him to handle this right. It's always such a heavy weight, but he'll take it.

With those lips open, he can't ignore the curious need to taste and he deepens the kiss with a soft hum, and the only reason his hands aren't trailing up into that hair that he's wanted to ruffle for too damn long to count is because of the loose grip Cas still has on them, and he's not going to rip away the guy's anchor if he needs it.]
dadssoldier: (14)

[personal profile] dadssoldier 2016-01-18 02:25 am (UTC)(link)
[There are so many parts of his life that are full of pain and urgency that he's grown to appreciate the rare moment where he can be gentle, when time isn't ticking like a bomb in the back of his head. And a part of him is grateful that its one of those rare moments that he can share with Cas. That their first kiss isn't something frantic and fleeting.

It means he can focus on the way skin buzzes under roaming hands, or on the weight that settles against his chest. He can feel soft lips and heavy breaths, and there's something about that noise that seems to jolt right through him and settle low in his belly. And the taste that he gets when tongues first tangle, it's sweet and addicting and if he was a cheesy bastard he'd make some comparison to pie-but he's totally not. Still, there's something about the scent in the air that just vibrates with something he's come to associate as Cas that seems to blend in with all of his other senses until this whole thing feels entirely new and oh so familiar.

His own hands move now that they're free, one down to his waist to pull him closer, to instinctively seek out a heat for a chill he didn't even realize he was feeling. And the other slides through that hair without any tease or irony and he can't help the pleased sound that falls against Cas' tongue.

A part of him wants to take this further, to move to clothes and start undoing buttons, to leave a trail of kisses along that jawline, or nip at his neck. And it'd be so easy. This is something he can normally do as easily as breathing. But this is Cas and even if he wants to get dirty and biblical with him, he knows he can't go into this without words. Without some understanding of what the hell this is or what's expected when the moment's over. Because Cas is too damn important to let himself fuck this up.

But it can wait. Just...a little longer.]
dadssoldier: (10)

[personal profile] dadssoldier 2016-01-18 06:21 am (UTC)(link)
[Anyone else, and he'd be moving towards a wall or a bed, he'd be pulling off clothes with a lecherous grin, and settling between thighs. He's got a feeling Cas would let him. Knows damn well that Cas could handle it. It's got nothing to do with how much he wants this or how much Cas could handle and everything to do with the fragile emotions that are connected to him. Sometimes he still sees virgin Cas that couldn't even get laid by a hooker. He was there to give Cas his first hang-over aspirin. It's like he's seen the bastard grow into some mostly-functioning adult right in front of his eyes.

And now. Now Cas has hard pressed against him, growing bolder with every brush of a thumb over skin or swipe of his tongue. And damn it all if he doesn't want to see this part of him too. Wants to see the way he unravels under Dean's tongue and hand and cock, to hear how low and gravelly that voice can get when he's begging and moaning, to see how eager those hands are to make a mark on his body again.

He swallows hard with those fingers on his throat and it takes every bit of willpower he has to tug on Cas's hair and pull himself back just enough to make his mouth his own again.]

Cas. [God, he forgot how much he needs to actually breathe, and his voice comes out a little raspier than he means for it to.] Just, hold on a second, man. We need to- we-we should probably talk. About this.
dadssoldier: (14)

[personal profile] dadssoldier 2016-01-18 06:48 am (UTC)(link)
[God. That's adorable and he has to roll his eyes up the ceiling just to stop himself from leaning right back into it and kissing all that damn confusion away.]

That's- [And he makes a clicking noise with his tongue that feels a little numb from all the tonsil hockey.] I just wanna make sure, okay. That we can do this and still be alright. ...Right?

[Just something, Cas. He just needs some sort of response to ease the guilt he's feeling about crossing this line.]
dadssoldier: (4)

[personal profile] dadssoldier 2016-01-18 07:15 am (UTC)(link)
[His jaw moves like he's swallowing. Because he is, swallowing words and emotions that threaten to slip out with that answer. It hits the damn nail on the head and Cas says it like its the easiest damn thing in the world to promise. And he wants to believe it. So damn bad, but pessimism and history make it hard to hope like that.]

Nothing. It's nothing. [And he works forward one of those dismissive smiles as he slides his hand out from Cas's hair to grab that hand that's settled about his collar. And for a moment he just holds it inside his own, squeezes it lightly before bringing it up to his lips to kiss his palm.

Cas is poking at a whole other issue, but one thing those words do solidify is that this won't be the thing that drives them apart. And that's enough. It has to be.]

C'mon, lose the trenchcoat and we'll take this to the bed.
dadssoldier: (6)

[personal profile] dadssoldier 2016-01-18 08:00 am (UTC)(link)
[He's spent so many years scoffing at the idea of getting emotional, of sharing anything more than is necessary to their very strained well-being that he'd almost become hardened to that kind of imploring look. At least, he likes to think so. Honestly, sometimes he wants to give into it and rattle off every thought that's in his head. But he can't. Because he has to keep shit together. Because he's always has to. For his dad. For Sammy. Even for Cas. They depend on him. But he can't help but think if they knew just how much doubt and guilt and anger and pain he kept close to his heart, they would know better. It doesn't matter what Cas already knows or what he's seen, he can't bring himself to bare it all on his own whim. So it boils down to a stubbornness that has him glancing away from that inviting look.

Food, alcohol, sex, it's how he medicates himself. But that's not why he pulls Cas in close again once that coat is off. He's fine right now-as fine as he ever is. He doesn't need Cas to wipe away his anger or drown out his thoughts or remind him that he's still human. He just. Wants Cas.]

Oh, there are a whole buttload of things I'm not sure about. But you? Well, you're one of the easier things I got, Cas. [The easiest and consequently the hardest. But that's what caring about someone this much is, right?

And this time he leans in to do exactly what he imagined doing. His lips press against his jaw, his chin, down the thick cord of his neck, settle and suck at a pulse point as he works Cas' tie and shirt loose enough to nip at his clavicle, all the while slowly moving back toward the bed.]
dadssoldier: (12)

[personal profile] dadssoldier 2016-01-18 02:34 pm (UTC)(link)
[This is so much easier, and now that some of his concerns have been put to rest, he can silence the voices in the back of his head and focus on skin and wants and action. He can add flavors and scents and textures and sounds to all of his flickering thoughts of curiosity he's had about Cas.

He can hear the thump against the bed, feel it in the way Cas's body stops and he straightens up, leaves Cas's neck so he can give Cas a push toward the horizontal. And he's gotta admit, he looks good on a bed when he isn't half-dead. So he takes a second to admire it before he's pulling his shirt off and tossing it to the side. It's a hassle he doesn't need later.

And then he's moving onto the bed and over Cas, and he doesn't even try to hide the eager smile.]

If there was ever a time for you to be selfish, Cas, it's now. You want something, just say the word. [Because he knows Cas is automatically set to altruism, but he can't imagine anything hotter than Cas asking for what he wants in bed because Dean is nothing if not a pleaser when tangling in the sheets.

And that settled, he works one handed to entirely undo the loose tie, takes his time unbuttoning his shirt and teasing himself with the slow exposure of skin, leans down to kiss a new spot that opens with every pop of a button.]
dadssoldier: (11)

[personal profile] dadssoldier 2016-01-18 09:20 pm (UTC)(link)
[Sometimes he forgets that the image he's come to associate with Cas isn't really Cas, that this is just a shell for the being that's fought and bled and sacrificed his way into becoming something so important to him. Right now, he's happy to forget that little fact, because this is the closest he can get to Cas. But it keeps him from murmuring soft compliments as he works his way down to those pants.

But even if this body isn't Cas, it feels like him when hands slide along his skin, because more than the sensation that prickles his skin in their wake, there's an air around them, they're familiar, and more importantly, they're safe. Their hands that have blasted away more demons than he can count, that have reached out for him, saved him. And he can sense that in every brush against skin.]

Well, that's easy enough. [Even if he pauses on his path when the shirt is entirely undone and his fingers are resting on the fly of his pants. He lets his other hand slide up the bare expanse of skin before he drags them down with just enough pressure to feel nails. Honestly, he has no idea what Cas likes, not even sure Cas really knows. So experiment is really the only way to know, and he keeps a careful eye on his reaction.]

What about my tongue, Cas? Or my mouth. You wanna feel that too? [And he presses the palm of his hand against the bulge underneath. He'll be gentle, he'll be kind, he'll try to squeeze every speck of pleasure out of Cas, but he really can't help but add a little tease to it. Or this will just be such sappy lovemaking his image may never recover.]
dadssoldier: (10)

[personal profile] dadssoldier 2016-01-18 10:41 pm (UTC)(link)
[That's definitely the kind of reaction he was looking for, and he watches shamelessly as that body bows slightly for him like its instinctively begging for more. And he can't help but lick his lips in appreciation at the honesty even in his body. It's definitely something he'll come back for.

Right now he's made an offer and Cas eagerly takes it up, so he's going to make good on it. He undoes his pants and hooks his hands around the hem of them and nudges Cas's hips up so he can pull them off properly and toss them behind him, forgotten as soon as they're out of sight. Because he's got something so much more interesting in front of him, and he hums in appreciation as his hand traces the bulge under underwear and with an arched brow and smirk at Cas he bends down and mouths at his cock through cloth, licks and sucks until they're a wet mess.]

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