[ generally speaking, castiel's accustomed to being the awkward one in any given conversation. he knows himself, knows that he isn't in any way even bordering on the idea of smooth, knows that he can be difficult to talk to. once he's warmed to someone it's easier, he opens up, drops a lot of the too-tight stiffness, but really social ease isn't among castiel's gifts.
that dean winchester is damned good looking certainly doesn't help, and he's everything that castiel isn't - easy and loose, grinning warm and comfortably. castiel has always envied people like him, in some ways, people who are so at ease around others, who saunter through conversations like their own backyards while castiel's always searching for words, or tripping over them, or blurting them out thoughtlessly. generally speaking he's usually not so tongue-tied as this, but his social grace is no better even when he isn't. he's too honest, too blunt, too forward; even among his own peers he's a bit alienated, a little more odd and eccentric even among his odd, eccentric kind, but that's fine. it might be nice, to be more like dean, but in the end he can only ever be himself.
when dean winks, he looks uncomfortable, and decides at once that he's going to be petulant about it, because it's certainly better than stammering like an adolescent. so castiel lifts his chin and squints his eyes thoughtfully, jaw tightening. his eyes linger on dean winchester now if only because he's beginning to recover, and refusing to act any more foolishly bashful than he already has. ]
No, thank you.
[ he says stiffly, because of course he doesn't want a beer. ]
Sam is picking up lunch. He should be back soon enough.
no subject
that dean winchester is damned good looking certainly doesn't help, and he's everything that castiel isn't - easy and loose, grinning warm and comfortably. castiel has always envied people like him, in some ways, people who are so at ease around others, who saunter through conversations like their own backyards while castiel's always searching for words, or tripping over them, or blurting them out thoughtlessly. generally speaking he's usually not so tongue-tied as this, but his social grace is no better even when he isn't. he's too honest, too blunt, too forward; even among his own peers he's a bit alienated, a little more odd and eccentric even among his odd, eccentric kind, but that's fine. it might be nice, to be more like dean, but in the end he can only ever be himself.
when dean winks, he looks uncomfortable, and decides at once that he's going to be petulant about it, because it's certainly better than stammering like an adolescent. so castiel lifts his chin and squints his eyes thoughtfully, jaw tightening. his eyes linger on dean winchester now if only because he's beginning to recover, and refusing to act any more foolishly bashful than he already has. ]
No, thank you.
[ he says stiffly, because of course he doesn't want a beer. ]
Sam is picking up lunch. He should be back soon enough.