[ it had taken some time for him to grow accustomed to dean, but somehow they have hit it off far better than castiel could ever have expected. they have little enough in common when it comes to hobbies, but there's an odd sort of understanding between them, a synergy that is rare between people to begin with, and even more rare for someone like castiel, whose social function barely outstrips a toddler's.
but he is.. comfortable around dean, and that is a strange and impossible and precious thing. dean is genuine. he's smart and he's tough, but there's a warmth and kindness in him that never ceases to amaze him, and beneath all that tough-guy, beer drinking pool shooting overblown masculinity there is a gentle softness the like of which he has never known before, and it wasn't really until he began to see and understand that side of dean that he really began to open to him. that, he thinks, is far preferable to the hard cover he tries to maintain - all that machismo, the leather and the car and the tough-guy voice - sure it's all attractive enough on the surface, but it's all the things beneath it, dean's warmth and affection, how genuinely he cares about people.. that is truly what castiel finds praiseworthy, what has him caught on dean every moment he is near him.
it is a gift, this friendship that he has built with dean, this ease in his company.
still, he can't help but feel a little guilty for dragging him here. this was supposed to be he and sam, and while he will always enjoy dean's company, castiel knows that this isn't really his thing. he's tagging along to be nice, because sam's too sick to come, and castiel had offered to cancel, to stay behind, but with such short notice there's no chance of their money being refunded, and sam had known how very much castiel had been looking forward to this, and there won't be another meteor shower again 'til july, and it won't be as good as this one so cas should just shut up and go. still, he'd hesitated, guilty as a loyal dog until finally dean had rolled his eyes and piped up, offering to come along in sam's place to keep him company, and he'd brook no damned argument.
castiel had still been apologetic when they'd left, promised sam he would tell him all about it, and book the hotel for the july shower the moment they walked in the door, and sam, of course, was satisfied.
it'll be nice, he thinks, to spend some time with dean, even if it might be a little distracting, because he's been mooning over dean for months and he knows it, has done nothing about it, won't do anything about it beyond suffering through it, and that's fine. being close friends with dean - that's good enough. that's plenty. and castiel wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that.
the drive is comfortable and easy, several hours to cherry springs state park in upstate pennsylvania, one of the top twenty best night sky reserves in the entire world, certainly the best on the eastern seaboard, and castiel has been pining to go for years. he'd meant to pack his telescope and star charts and books, but in the end he'd left most of them behind and brought only a single atlas. visiting with dean will be very different than it would have been to come here with sam, and maybe it's best if he keeps things simple. not because dean couldn't understand it, of course, but because he's just not as into it as he and sam are, he's doing castiel a favor, here, keeping him company here, and the least castiel can do is be personable, not keep his eye glued to the lens of a telescope while ignoring dean all night.
they check in, and as promised, castiel immediately reserves the time for he and sam in july, and he's giddy as a schoolboy while they drop off their duffels and pile back into the impala for the short drive up to the viewing area. the parking lot is relatively full; meteor showers are in high demand for astronomy fans, after all, but the viewing area is large enough that they're easily able to find a spot at the crest of a small hill away from anyone. a thick blanket is spread over the grass, and castiel sits cross legged, his jacket still on to protect him against the spring chill, a half-empty beer tucked against his knee, his sky atlas open, the red light of his cellophane flashlight bleeding over it, but it's largely ignored.
instead he's tucked in near to dean's side, half-turned toward him and speaking rapidly, animated, his hands moving and his eyes bright. ]
Well no, it's entirely possible that Eta Carinae's collapse could certainly end the world - I mean, it's not likely, and even if it goes hypernova, chances are slim that it would affect us.. but, you know, you never know. There's a lot that we still don't know about the stars, and life is very fragile.
no subject
but he is.. comfortable around dean, and that is a strange and impossible and precious thing. dean is genuine. he's smart and he's tough, but there's a warmth and kindness in him that never ceases to amaze him, and beneath all that tough-guy, beer drinking pool shooting overblown masculinity there is a gentle softness the like of which he has never known before, and it wasn't really until he began to see and understand that side of dean that he really began to open to him. that, he thinks, is far preferable to the hard cover he tries to maintain - all that machismo, the leather and the car and the tough-guy voice - sure it's all attractive enough on the surface, but it's all the things beneath it, dean's warmth and affection, how genuinely he cares about people.. that is truly what castiel finds praiseworthy, what has him caught on dean every moment he is near him.
it is a gift, this friendship that he has built with dean, this ease in his company.
still, he can't help but feel a little guilty for dragging him here. this was supposed to be he and sam, and while he will always enjoy dean's company, castiel knows that this isn't really his thing. he's tagging along to be nice, because sam's too sick to come, and castiel had offered to cancel, to stay behind, but with such short notice there's no chance of their money being refunded, and sam had known how very much castiel had been looking forward to this, and there won't be another meteor shower again 'til july, and it won't be as good as this one so cas should just shut up and go. still, he'd hesitated, guilty as a loyal dog until finally dean had rolled his eyes and piped up, offering to come along in sam's place to keep him company, and he'd brook no damned argument.
castiel had still been apologetic when they'd left, promised sam he would tell him all about it, and book the hotel for the july shower the moment they walked in the door, and sam, of course, was satisfied.
it'll be nice, he thinks, to spend some time with dean, even if it might be a little distracting, because he's been mooning over dean for months and he knows it, has done nothing about it, won't do anything about it beyond suffering through it, and that's fine. being close friends with dean - that's good enough. that's plenty. and castiel wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that.
the drive is comfortable and easy, several hours to cherry springs state park in upstate pennsylvania, one of the top twenty best night sky reserves in the entire world, certainly the best on the eastern seaboard, and castiel has been pining to go for years. he'd meant to pack his telescope and star charts and books, but in the end he'd left most of them behind and brought only a single atlas. visiting with dean will be very different than it would have been to come here with sam, and maybe it's best if he keeps things simple. not because dean couldn't understand it, of course, but because he's just not as into it as he and sam are, he's doing castiel a favor, here, keeping him company here, and the least castiel can do is be personable, not keep his eye glued to the lens of a telescope while ignoring dean all night.
they check in, and as promised, castiel immediately reserves the time for he and sam in july, and he's giddy as a schoolboy while they drop off their duffels and pile back into the impala for the short drive up to the viewing area. the parking lot is relatively full; meteor showers are in high demand for astronomy fans, after all, but the viewing area is large enough that they're easily able to find a spot at the crest of a small hill away from anyone. a thick blanket is spread over the grass, and castiel sits cross legged, his jacket still on to protect him against the spring chill, a half-empty beer tucked against his knee, his sky atlas open, the red light of his cellophane flashlight bleeding over it, but it's largely ignored.
instead he's tucked in near to dean's side, half-turned toward him and speaking rapidly, animated, his hands moving and his eyes bright. ]
Well no, it's entirely possible that Eta Carinae's collapse could certainly end the world - I mean, it's not likely, and even if it goes hypernova, chances are slim that it would affect us.. but, you know, you never know. There's a lot that we still don't know about the stars, and life is very fragile.