[ dean is trying to be sweet about it, trying to be kind, but castiel's gut still feels all twisted up, his heart heavy in his chest, and a lump sticks in his throat that he cannot for the life of him swallow down.
it's just so impossible to believe, to think that dean could turn him down for any other reason besides the clear and simple reason that he's gotten cold feet, that he's realized that too much beer and a nice pretty sky had led him to do something that he now regrets. it happens to the best of people. sometimes mistakes happen. sometimes you are caught up in a sweet warm moment and it becomes so very easy to let it go too far, to find yourself all tangled up in it until you're turned around and you've got to slam on the breaks once you realize you're skidding out of control.
it's not the first time it's happened to him. mostly with men. it's not uncommon for a guy of dean's type to pull back, to realize they've gone too far with another man, or that castiel simply isn't their type. he and dean have so very little in common once you really get down to brass tacks, and a pretty face can only get you so far.
his love life is so damned cursed.
but then dean's kissing him again, over and over and over until his ears are full of the sound of their mouths and castiel can hardly stand it. a bittersweet ache burgeons inside of him, filling him up, and he breathes a plaintive sound against dean's mouth, falling into the kisses so easily that he finds himself swept away again, pining and yearning and clinging, his fingers wrapped around dean's wrists and gripping tight, face upturned and seeking for more. it feels so good, kissing him, like their mouths are two halves of a whole and he's only been waiting his entire life for this, for dean, for this man he is so comfortable against, their souls cushioning one another, pulled together like magnets.
it's foolish, though. that's nothing but castiel's own childish, wistful desires talking. dean says he isn't letting him down easy, but castiel cannot bring himself to believe it, cannot understand how this could be anything but that.
but he has to agree, doesn't he? there's no reason to argue it. swallowing thickly, he nods. ]
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it's just so impossible to believe, to think that dean could turn him down for any other reason besides the clear and simple reason that he's gotten cold feet, that he's realized that too much beer and a nice pretty sky had led him to do something that he now regrets. it happens to the best of people. sometimes mistakes happen. sometimes you are caught up in a sweet warm moment and it becomes so very easy to let it go too far, to find yourself all tangled up in it until you're turned around and you've got to slam on the breaks once you realize you're skidding out of control.
it's not the first time it's happened to him. mostly with men. it's not uncommon for a guy of dean's type to pull back, to realize they've gone too far with another man, or that castiel simply isn't their type. he and dean have so very little in common once you really get down to brass tacks, and a pretty face can only get you so far.
his love life is so damned cursed.
but then dean's kissing him again, over and over and over until his ears are full of the sound of their mouths and castiel can hardly stand it. a bittersweet ache burgeons inside of him, filling him up, and he breathes a plaintive sound against dean's mouth, falling into the kisses so easily that he finds himself swept away again, pining and yearning and clinging, his fingers wrapped around dean's wrists and gripping tight, face upturned and seeking for more. it feels so good, kissing him, like their mouths are two halves of a whole and he's only been waiting his entire life for this, for dean, for this man he is so comfortable against, their souls cushioning one another, pulled together like magnets.
it's foolish, though. that's nothing but castiel's own childish, wistful desires talking. dean says he isn't letting him down easy, but castiel cannot bring himself to believe it, cannot understand how this could be anything but that.
but he has to agree, doesn't he? there's no reason to argue it. swallowing thickly, he nods. ]
Of course.