ᴄᴀsᴛɪᴇʟ (
heavenonearth) wrote2016-01-17 02:00 am
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angels with crushes are always problematic
[ continued from this nonsense. ]
[ castiel's brow furrows, and for a moment he's too busy trying to decide whether or not to be insulted by that to even bother with being flustered, but then dean's presenting a question he feels has an obvious answer. ]
It's been working out fine.
[ and it's not as if castiel really knows any better. this isn't exactly his area of expertise, and whatever tangled feelings he has for dean - they're not appropriate, and they're not necessary. if he's learned anything about humans, it's that love complicates things, makes everything more difficult, and dean is.. well, not something or someone that castiel is willing to risk, over something so silly as a crush, if that's what this is. what they have now? it's good. it's fine. ]
I don't see why it should change.
[ castiel's brow furrows, and for a moment he's too busy trying to decide whether or not to be insulted by that to even bother with being flustered, but then dean's presenting a question he feels has an obvious answer. ]
It's been working out fine.
[ and it's not as if castiel really knows any better. this isn't exactly his area of expertise, and whatever tangled feelings he has for dean - they're not appropriate, and they're not necessary. if he's learned anything about humans, it's that love complicates things, makes everything more difficult, and dean is.. well, not something or someone that castiel is willing to risk, over something so silly as a crush, if that's what this is. what they have now? it's good. it's fine. ]
I don't see why it should change.
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Even now, it's a little unnerving to have all of Cas's rather intense attention focused entirely on him, on making him feel good, and it strips his bare in a way that has nothing to do with the lack of clothes.
His breaths feel like they come out in built-up gusts, constantly sucking in breaths and gasping in conflict with normal breathing that keeps him from every really gaining air. But it's hard to focus on asinine things like breathing when he's got Cas so focused on his cock. It should be simple. It's a hand and a cock, and he can't count how many times a week he does that. But it's not that simple The knot deep in his gut has nothing to do with friction and everything with to do with the angel attached to that hand.
He takes the effort to kick his pants off entirely because it hinders the way he wants to bend his knee, or the way he wants to dig his heels into the mattress when Cas is suddenly two handing him, grip suffocating in a strangely pleasurable way.
And his fingers twitch at his side restlessly before they're moving, before they're reaching for arms or shoulders to touch, or the back of Cas's head so he can at least pull him down and kiss him, so he can give a little bit back.]
It's good. [He's quick to confirm, and his tongue flicks out against his lip as he debates adding something else, as the urge to ask for something more bubbles up inside him. But the words don't come.]
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so it's good, this kissing, and he likes the way dean's cock feels in his hands, the weight of it, the irresistible heat, how smooth and silky the skin feels. he likes how he can feel dean's need every time it twitches, likes that it's making dean feel good, even if it might not be as good as dean's mouth was on him, even if he might be clumsy and new. that much, he hopes, he can make up for with his eagerness, and how willing he is to learn.
but something doesn't feel right, there's a distance that shouldn't be there, like a piece of the puzzle isn't fitting in right, and castiel worries that he's doing something wrong. dean's been with so many people, done so many things, castiel's uncertain fumbling must be frustrating. ]
Do you want my mouth? [ he asks, breathing the words against dean's mouth, both hands tightening around the root of dean's cock, fingers laced as he pulls easy to the tip, then down again. he's already kissing a path along his jaw even as the words finish, mimicking the way dean had done it to him before, breathing hot against his throat and closing his mouth over his rapid pulse. ] Please, Dean, let me make you feel good. I want to. I need to.
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And he eagerly takes Cas's mouth. Loves how sweet the man is. How hungry he is. How right it feels to be intimate like this with him. And he has to stop himself from whining when Cas breaks it to talk.
And that question, god, it has his hips stuttering as his arousal spikes. It's not even a matter of liking the idea, it's just hearing Cas talk like that.
There's something about those particular words that makes something click into place and has his eyes widening slightly. Maybe he's been looking at this all wrong. Like asking for anything would be taking advantage of Cas's very nature. But Cas is a big boy-sometimes- and maybe it's all just some service kink. Makes sense. Angel and all that. And, it's enough to cling to at the moment, because he does want more.]
I wanna feel you around me, Cas. I wanna be inside you. [The words come out rushed, like if he doesn't say them right this second he might not be able to. And he jerks his eyes to Cas's, looking for any sign of apprehension at the idea.]
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when dean's eyes move quick as lightning to find his, he can only assume that somehow dean thinks he's asking for too much, for something that castiel wouldn't be willing to give, but of course, that's absurd. there's no apprehension to be found in castiel's eyes, only a quiet, muted relief. this is what he'd worried about? been hesitant to ask for? castiel hardly has the social know-how to understand how this could be any more to ask for than his hands or mouth, how dean could ever be worried to ask him for anything at all.
service kink, maybe - that's not exactly a concept that he's familiar with, but it pleases him to please dean, that's for certain. it's in his nature. it's what he's programmed to do. and let's not discount his natural curiosity, either, how willing he is to learn for himself as much as for dean. but he doesn't know what he's doing. ]
Tell me what I need to do.
[ he says, and even though he needs the guidance, there's still no less authority in his lowered voice, or the way his eyes meet dean's fearlessly, steady as the sea. his hands loosen from around dean's cock to find his wrists instead, to wind their fingers together, thumbs pressing into dean's palms, holding them to the blankets. ]
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And it's easy to let Cas pin his hands to the bed, squeezes his own fingers around Cas'. Hand holding hasn't really ever done much for him. It's a way not to lose someone. It's a way to guide someone. Hell, sometimes it's a way to comfort someone, to immobilize them from doing something stupid, but this is none of the above, and he likes it. He's starting to think he likes anything that has to do with Cas' hands. They're so much softer than his own, but no less strong. Maybe that's the bottom line. For all the inexperience and curiosity and eagerness, Cas is so capable, so dependable, so strong. It's Dean that calls for his help more often than the opposite. So maybe. Maybe Cas can survive the curse that seems to settle on anyone that gets close to them. ...Even if he's died a couple times now.
He turns his head toward the night stand, thinks that's the last place he threw the lube. And since Cas doesn't seem to be letting him go anytime soon.]
Well, we're gonna need lube.
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it would be a simple thing to conjure oil with his grace, easy and instant and he wouldn't even need to move. for a moment he thinks to do just that, and his hands flatten over dean's, his grace bunching inside of him, the air heady with that electric ozone scent of angel - but dean had looked toward the bedside table, and castiel cuts his idea off at the pass. dean gets funny sometimes, when they don't do things the human way, and for as long as they've known one another, as much as he knows dean trusts him (or hopes that he does, after all that's passed between them), doing things cas's way seems to make dean uncomfortable, often enough. castiel thinks it's silly, but he still respects him.
so instead he leans away, toward the nightstand where dean's eyes had flickered, and castiel tugs open the drawer to root through the contents, pushing aside a hunting knife and a paper receipt, finding the tube near the back, behind a box of shotgun shells. sitting back on dean's hips again, he turns the tube over in his hands, surveying it curiously. ]
This? [ he asks, already snapping open the cap, testing the cool gel against his fingers. ]
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But Cas is moving and he's distracted watching him, thinks about warning him about the knife only after he hears it clatter around, and there's not many other people in the world he would feel this entirely relaxed around when they're that damn close to something that could be driven straight through his chest. But all he brings back is the half empty bottle of lube.]
[And he's hard and excited for the idea of being balls deep in Cas, but he still gives Cas his moment to explore the stuff before making an impatient noise.] Yeah. You mind? [And he holds his hand out for it.]
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Of course.
[ turning over the tube in his hand, he presses it into dean's palm and waits, watching expectantly, for him to do whatever he's going to do with it. castiel has no idea, except he's sure that it'll be good, everything dean has done so far has been good, everything about this entire exchange has been good. with his hands free, he slides his palms over dean's taut abdomen, settling a hand back onto his cock even though he's distracted, following dean's hands with his eyes like a dog on a bone. ]
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He wraps his fingers around it and catches that expectant stare of Cas's, and returns his own when Cas makes...no effort to move at all. And it dawns on him he might not even-
Awesome. He gets to be a sex ed teacher when it's hard to even really think in full sentences.]
I need you to spread- [And he gestures with his open hand at Cas's crotch before he changes his mind on that approach.] I need you to lay down again.
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at the very least, castiel is a good and willing student. his brow furrows for a half moment before he begins to move, regretful already for the loss of warmth, and the good vantage point of power he'd had over dean - but for the moment, at least, he's going to need to obey if he wants to learn more, to give dean whatever it is that he's after. ]
All right.
[ he says, sliding off of dean and onto the rumpled covers again, lying out beside him with one knee comfortably crooked, his right hand still trailing over dean's skin because he doesn't want to lose the contact, the connection. it doesn't really occur to him that teaching someone how to do this might be incredibly unsexy, because for him it isn't, he's hanging on every word, feeling impatient for lack of anything to do, and the still nagging need to give dean all that pleasure that dean had given him. he can't wait to watch his body light up, to hear and feel him react; castiel bites his lower lip, looking sidelong at dean, ready to continue, to hurry forward. ]
What now?
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He shakes his head at himself before pushing himself up and maneuvering himself between Cas' legs. His hands slide down to the inside of his thighs and he guides them far apart until he's spread wide and open and he can see all of Cas. It's got him licking his lips again, and his mouth dry, and there's a tremble in his hands.
And it takes him a second to remember that Cas asked a question.]
Uh. I'm gonna. It's. [And he curses under his breath at his own fumbling words.] I'm gonna stick my fingers up your ass, Cas. And stretch you wide enough that you can take my dick without it hurting.
[There. It's so much easier when he pulls back on old habits.]
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well, castiel appreciates the bluntness, for sure. it's not in his nature to dance around an issue, and when he wants to know something, he wants to know it, wants it explained, wants to know what he's doing entirely. castiel might look human, but beneath this skin he's still an angel, and angels are more machine than they are sentient creature, half the time, and machines need to be programmed.
he feels a little silly, though, for not figuring this out on his own, and it's got him flushing in embarrassment, but more than that, excitement. castiel's breath trembles a little, his eyes shining bright when he lifts them to dean's face. ]
Okay. [ he says, nodding sharply, his skin jumping beneath the pass of dean's hands, his ankle sliding, warm and inviting, against the edge of dean's hip. ]
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He pops the bottle open again and pours a generous amount onto his fingers, slicks them up before he reaches down to casually brush fingers from balls to hole and back up again, and he spends several seconds letting his fingers circle around against his entrance, presses against the tight ring like he's testing it. And he is, making sure Cas is relaxed underneath him.
His free hand slides down to where that ankle is resting against his hip and he lifts it, settles it over his shoulder as he moves in a closer between Cas' legs. It makes it easy to simply turn his head, to be able to kiss and nip at his calf, just a subtle distraction as he pushes the first of his fingers in.]
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it's good. better than he had expected, given his knowledge of human anatomy, but like most things, castiel has not exactly thought to try it. nevertheless, he isn't complaining. by the time dean's finally sliding a finger into him he's loose and warm all over, flushed and breathing shallowly.
truth be told, dean's being far more gentle than he even needs to be. castiel is an angel, there's nothing dean could do that could really hurt him, and in contrast he likes the roughness, but for once in his life he's remembering to read the atmosphere, knows that there's more to this moment than simple pleasure. there's intimacy here, and a deep undercurrent of trust that passes between them, and if dean wants to take his time and do this the longer, but gentler way, then that's what castiel wants for him. still, when dean's finger slips in, slick and warm, a sound moves low in castiel's throat, cock twitching and belly lurching for the feel of it, the deep invasive slide that sinks into him, warm and easy. ]
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But they both deserve a little tenderness now and then.
So, slow it is, eases in until he's knuckle deep. And he stills, eyes drinking in every subtle reaction from Cas and his lips twitch in a slight smirk at that noise that rumbles in his throat.]
You like that, Cas? [Because suddenly everything is easy again when he's taking charge, when he's the one dealing out the sensations rather than just taking. And he really doesn't care at the moment to think to hard on that fact. He's controlling, go figure. There's nothing deep there.]
Then you're really gonna like what happens next. [He works his finger out just enough to make sure Cas stays relaxed and easy for him, before he slips in a second finger. And that has him groaning at the tight heat that clings around him. He curls his fingers slightly as he slides them in deeper, works them around, searches for Cas' prostate.]
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Yes. [ he answers, quiet and breathless. ] It's good.
[ but dean is promising more, and castiel feels his heart squeeze in his breast for the anticipation of it, the idea of more and better. so when dean presses in a second finger beside the first, stretching him further, castiel hums in a way that's content and approving, eyelids dropping low and mouth slack.
that isn't it either, though. and he doesn't understand that until dean's fingers curl, rough pads sliding easy and slick against his prostate, lighting a burst of heat in his belly like an electric bolt straight to his cock. castiel tenses immediately, his heel pressing hard to dean's shoulder, a shudder lancing up his spine, a real, genuine moan tumbling brief and curt from his lips. that's.. that's good, that's better than he'd ever been expecting, but then, dean keeps on surprising him, doesn't he? he should stop expecting anything at all, and just allow all of the sensation to wash over him thoughtlessly. instead his eyes lift to dean's face, surprised and glassy and searching, his exhale tight and quick. ]
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He greets that look with his own easy smile, his own eyes dark with barely contained arousal and lust.] God, you're hot. I got ya. [He mutters, because he feels like he needs to say something to that seeking gaze. It's one of the most attractive images he's seen, even if he's sure the compliment won't mean much to Cas. But it's honest. All of it. He's got Cas. He'll take care of him. And the words help ground him too against the sadistic itch that he's always been able to feel since Hell, the one that wants him to grind his fingers into Cas's prostate and watch his moan and writhe on his fingers until he's desperate and needy.
Instead he leaves him alone now that he's got the position memorized, spends a few brief moments stretching him with his fingers before he pulls them out.
It takes serious control to take the time to grab the lube and pour more onto his fingers rather than just use what's left. But he doesn't want any of this to ache. Not right now. And he slicks himself up good with it and slides in close with Cas, guides the leg over his shoulder to wrap around his waist instead, because he wants him close, wants to feel his weight on him.]
Tell me you're ready, Cas.
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it's difficult to think about that and not be envious, to know how many bodies dean's hands have touched.. but castiel had meant what he had said before, about how he's relinquished the claim he never really had, that dean is not his, has never been his, so he has no place being envious of anyone. he should be appreciative, instead, that dean's hands are on him now, that it's castiel who has him so needy and captivated, even if this moment is fleeting. ]
I'm ready. [ he says, in a voice gone throaty and low, and his thighs tense, spreading a little further of their own accord, his eyes fixed on dean's face with a low, burning hunger like banked coals. he's half-hard again already, curling his calf against dean's back with barely restrained urgency. ] I'm ready. Please.
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And god is he glad he waited. There's that smolder in Cas' eyes that has heat spreading through his chest, makes his features soften even as the rest of him is coiled tight and hard. Then the words tumble out, low and gravelly and he swears he can almost feel the rumble of his voice skate over his skin.
And it's all he has, the tease he's purposely built this encounter into, the restraint, the control-he can't play with it anymore. And he can feel his grasp on it all crumble as he sinks into Cas, inch by inch it undoes him, tears at him and leaves him raw by the time he settles fully inside him.
There's a tremble that starts at his shoulders, rolls all the way down his spine caused by the connection between their bodies. Sure, it's tight and hot and slick, but that's every hole. It's a piece of comfort, a piece of pleasure, it's like a strong drink or a good burger. That bit he expects. It's the familiarity, the sense of home that shocks him to the core.
And if anything it only lures him further in, has him crawling up Cas, settling low on his elbows, chests and faces only separated by a sheet of air. And then he's rolling his hips forward, instinctively seeking that angle that he's mapped out in his mind, and his lips smash into Cas'. And there's no chasteness, not even a sexual hunger, it's more need that he'll never admit to.]
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Dean - [ he breathes, abortive and tight, and once dean bottoms out inside of him he groans, deep and guttural, both thighs pressing in tightly to dean's sides to keep him close, as close as he can, and with his arms around dean's shoulders he's holding to him greedily, like a venus fly trap snapping tight around its prey.
the physicality of it is enough, it's good, but even better than that is the intimacy, the connection, the way he can feel dean against him, inside of him, all of dean pulling at him and tugging at his very core, and the heat of his mouth is exquisite and intoxicating, all of it together overwhelming. there's a familiarity and a nostalgia to this that makes him wonder why they ever waited so long to do this, like they were created for this, two halves of a broken whole coming together to form something so warm and good and irresistibly right that he can hardly bear the feel of it.
with one hand splayed between dean's shoulderblades, he lifts the other up and into dean's hair, seizing at it with a nearly desperate grip, his mouth falling open easily, taking dean's kiss, and all of the need in it, and consuming it whole, accepting it, giving it back in its entirety. he has never wanted anything more, never needed anything more, and all the thoughts of the world outside of these walls have faded away, castiel's entire world narrowed to dean, the weight of his body, the deep slide of his cock, the taste of his tongue. ]
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His hips roll up into that inviting heat without ever losing the grip Cas's legs have on him, he just pulls him with him, rocks him back into the mattress in an easy rhythm. His hands ball into the sheets near Cas's shoulders, all his weight resting on his forearms. His back ripples with movement, a languid arch with each roll forward that has that hand between his shoulder blades scratching down his back and neck.
And the dance only speeds up once he finds that rhythm to move to, body aching to finish even if the rest of him would happily settle in Cas all day. But it hasn't forgotten as physical need and want seeks out hard friction, takes pleasure and gives the slap of hips and the nudge of cock against prostate in return. It makes him breath heavily through his nose, makes fingers shred sheets, and makes his eyes squeeze shut as each thrust pulls him a little closer to the edge.]
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and he certainly knows what he's doing. every thrust of his cock is angled just right to strike that sweet spot, pressing and sliding mercilessly against his prostate, winding him up hard and fast. castiel's cock is hard and flushed again, caught between their bodies, aching, drooling precome hot and sticky against his belly but he doesn't want to get a hand between them, doesn't want anything between them but the friction, and the exhilarating slide of skin on skin.
it's all building like a song rising up and up towards its crescendo, though castiel feels he is lagging behind, he's come once already while dean has been forced to wait, patiently teased to desperation, but it doesn't matter. right now, this moment is all that matters. castiel breaks from the kiss to breathe, gulping mouthfuls of air, his mouth wet and pink from kissing and he clutches dean close by the hand in his hair, lifting his chin to stretch the sinuous length of his throat, his spine bending up and away from the sheets, hips bucking uselessly, like a pinned butterfly, held to the mattress by dean's weight. the hand against dean's back moves and shifts, sliding down the dip of his spine and up again, fingernails biting, dragging, pulling. ]
You feel so good, Dean. [ he says, pants, in a voice wrecked, like crushed glass beneath the heel of a boot. ] Harder, please.
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He pauses just long enough to shift his position, untangling hands from ripped sheets to bring his arms up to fold up on Cas' chest as his hands slide to grab his shoulders, fingers digging in roughly. And then he starts to move again, hips hard rocks forward that jerk Cas' body right along with them, but then his hands are there, dragging him back down when physics would otherwise have him pulling away, forcing that body to take the full force of each thrust that makes the bed squeak. And their bodies are pressed so closely together that it's impossible to ignore the persistent hardness digging into his abdomen, hot and dripping and caught up in the rough friction.
His eyes open again, but there's not much thought in them, nothing but the primal need to fuck and take and claim. His moans, low and dark, stay caught behind clenched teeth.
There's the drag of nails on his back and his shoulders roll back into the rough press, the slight burn of it adding a new layer to the pleasure that's already twisted and knotted low and hot in his gut, that has his dick pulsing and his balls drawn up tight. And all those signs should have him expecting it, the orgasm he's kept at bay up until this point, but it hits him like a fist to the gut that has him bowing forward, head falling heavy against Cas' chest, and there's not a damn thought in his head when his lips brush across warm and flushed skin and he bites even as he moans and jerks and his body snaps tight as he pulses and spills inside Cas.]
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castiel's breath comes fast and ragged, each exhale a whine or a hard, twisting groan, his expression screwed up tight with eyes shut against everything, all the world is sensation, rough and primal and savage and it's all tangling up hot in his belly like the molten mantle of the earth, driving him like hellhounds snapping unrelenting at his heels.
by the time dean comes, castiel is not quite there but he's so close, and the hot, slick spill inside of him is filthy and irresistible, stuffing him full and gratifying him in a way he'd never known he'd needed. a shiver ripples up his spine, and castiel twists in desperation, wrenching an arm down between their bodies to get a hand on his cock, his hips bucking erratic and mindless, fucking up into the tight circle of his hand and down onto the wet, shameless slide of dean's cock. the hard bite of teeth to flushed, sensitive skin, and dean's low animal moan are so good - it hardly takes a few more irregular snaps of his hips before castiel is tumbling right after him.
with a sharp inhale, his belly heaves and he comes, thick and sticky between their bodies, his free hand twisting in the sheets, his entire body pulled tight as a bowstring. with his head tossed back and his jaw slack, there's a brief moment where he makes no sound at all, only holds in his breath before it all releases in a wild, satisfied moan. it's sublime. coming to the wet heat of dean's mouth was amazing, but this is on another level entirely, it shakes him to the core, drives needles under his skin, explodes in white-hot light behind his eyes that blinds him to any other thought, pushing everything else away for that one, blissful moment. ]
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But then he settles, and heat washes over his stomach and he hums at the sensation, somewhere under it all glad that Cas is taken care of. But that's all the focus he gives the moment. This, this part where he's all beating heart and pulsing blood and low breaths and nothing else, it's the cream and the cherry on top of mind-blowing sex and he'll cling to it greedily until he can't anymore.
But until then he's limp and easy on top of Cas, curling into his warmth and inhaling his scent and listening to the tune of his beating heart. And it's good. God, it's good.]
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