[Sam seems to catch it pretty quickly, what Cas is thinking.
Because here's the thing: even if he doesn't know this Cas as much as he knows the other, it doesn't mean they're complete opposites. This is still the angel that visited them all those years ago. There are... huge, gaping differences. But it's still Cas. And Sam reads it.]
[ there's a lot more of the cas that sam knows kicking around than one might think. the shell has changed, but the core is still the same, all that cold logic, all that self-sacrificing desire and fierce loyalty and love of freedom is all still there. this zebra changed its stripes, but it's still a zebra.
so he's not surprised when sam calls him out on it, annoying as it is. ]
I'm all right, Sam. [ he says, gently. ] But I'd definitely feel better if I knew you weren't choking on your own guilt for it.
[ what? it's not drinking. and come on sam, it's harmless. ]
Really though, it's just - let's worry about what we've got goin' on here, all right? What's going on back home for you.. it's nothing. Let it slide for now, keep your eyes ahead, you know?
[He's quiet for a moment. It's nothing? Oh, Cas, it's something alright. He feels the weight of it every time he's alone with his thoughts. But this... there's nothing he can do about it right now. It's true. And unless he can find more spellwork or ritual pieces or -- anything at all, that's just the way it is.]
... Easier said than done.
But I'll work on it.
[... He huffs through his nose, smiling slightly.]
Never actually smoked weed. That'd be Dean's experience.
[ well yes, i mean, it's definitely something and very much a big deal but yeah, there's not too much to be done about it here. some research might be useful and all, but cas has to keep his head in the fleet right now. it's his only real, good distraction. ]
Good. Don't let me down, Sam.
[ he's teasing, but it's gentle, and he cracks again. ]
[His smiles a bit sad at that. Don't let him down?
... But he's so utterly good at that, Cas.
On the bright side, he cracks a more amused smile soon after.]
Friends in college tried to get me into it, but I was too busy studying and worrying about breaking the law. While I was working towards, you know. Law school.
From what I gather, it's not really a concern out here. They sell all kinds of crazy shit in some of these vending machines, so uh, I don't think the Space Police are going to give us a hard time.
[ he's grinning, though. ]
And yeah you'd be surprised. Different dimension or not, people like their fun, I suppose.
[ Dean's coping mechanisms have sufficiently run dry; he can only beat the snot out of so many people and have the same done to him before it gets old. And really, there is not enough damn whiskey in the world to make him come close to feeling okay anymore. He's tired of the bars and he's tired of the toxic air and he's tired of being on a ship all by his goddamn lonesome.
So yeah, okay, he's waving his little white flag. He needs help. He needs you. ]
[ cas has done what he can to keep his distance. he knows dean, knows how closed he can be, how he needs time to come to terms with change and newness and if this isn't change and newness he doesn't know what is. their lives have been turned upside down, and even being here for months cas is barely holding it together, burying all the things he should be working through instead of addressing them. but he's trying. little by little, he's sorting it through.
so he gives dean his space. he's always available, always ready, always glad to drag dean into the distractions he might need but he's sure not to ask too much of him, waits for dean to come to him as he always does.
the call wakes him from a nap, and cas groans, but picks it up anyway, yawning rudely right into the feed. ]
[ Dean isn't even remotely sure how he feels about addressing anything. Talking is still something of a threat, something that implies a certain level of reality he can no longer face on a daily basis. But he's willing to admit that he's out of his element here and it shows, blindingly so, in the way he doesn't know how to navigate things anymore without feeling as if he's going the throttle the majority of the world for looking at him the wrong way.
Not even remotely surprised that he woke Cas up, Dean distantly thinks that he would nearly pay for the ability to sleep without ingesting heinous quantities of liquor, but he waits a moment, remaining particularly silent until Cas is done with his yawn. ]
[ with a groan, cas rolls over onto his side, scrubbing a hand over his face, staring sleepily into the feed with hooded eyes. he's not gonna bother getting up. in fact, he's not even really going to bother keeping his eyes open, and they're shut again after a moment, his voice rough and groggy. ]
[ If he wasn't doing this over the goddamn phone, he'd wait it out with sheer silence, stare down Cas until he either fell asleep again or sussed it out himself. But instead, Dean has to come up with something to say that'll be enough. ]
I'm not spending tonight at another damn bar.
[ One can only hope that's worthy of... something. Though it probably just means he's tired of getting kicked out of them. ]
[ cas is quiet for a moment, thoughtful, and it might look like he's just.. not answering, falling asleep, but really he's just weighing dean's words, his tone, all the nuance in speech that he has to read into because dean is so rarely truthful. he doesn't speak his mind readily.
but cas knows him. ]
You c'n come visit, if you want. [ he says, words still slow and groggy. ] 'S pretty quiet.
[ Dean sets his jaw irritably as he watches Cas nearly fall asleep, but thankfully he doesn't, should really be guessing that Cas is just slowly trying to pick up his trail of breadcrumbs.
It's all Dean can do to say yes please then and there but he manages to refrain, still glancing off as he tries to think. It's not as if he's searching for a way to say no, but he's looking for a way to convince himself that this - beyond the booze and the fistfights - is a perfectly acceptable way to cope. ]
[ grinning soft and lazy, cas chuckles, the sound a low, rumbling growl in his throat, like a sleepy bear. dean's gruffness is never enough to dampen castiel's warm spirit, he's more than used to it, and it rolls right off of his back. ]
[ Yeah, alright- he supposes that's legitimate enough. Granted, if Cas passes out he's not entirely sure what he'll do but fingers crossed. And with that he's up and at 'em, taking the offering without a please and thank you because it's not even remotely necessary when Cas has already made himself clear. ]
[ that's more like it, bucko. c'mon, take the money and run. cas.. probably won't fall asleep on him, no promises, but generally speaking he likes to be there for dean, most especially when dean makes the choice to lean on him. he can't walk away form that. ]
Nope, just beam yourself on over to the bridge. If you've got a Communications officer on board, they should be able to tell you how to get it done.
[ Dean had every intention to follow suit with his own plea this time - he might not always be the most agreeable and refuse the help offered but this time he knows better than to back down after asking. And not just becuase he woke Cas up from a nap, but because Dean has nothing else.
But seriously, beam himself. Dean's not sure how much more ridiculous this is going to get. ]
Give me a few minutes.
[ With that he disconnects to go figure this out. Which doesn't take too terribly long considering the people on board his own ship don't completely despise him yet. And Dean is just always so convincing..... Anyway, he eventually manages the whole thing and finds himself smoothly beamed onto the Red Fish, momentarily suspicious as he glances around, looking for Cas in an instant. ]
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no subject
Date: 24 Mar 2016 04:03 (UTC)Because here's the thing: even if he doesn't know this Cas as much as he knows the other, it doesn't mean they're complete opposites. This is still the angel that visited them all those years ago. There are... huge, gaping differences. But it's still Cas. And Sam reads it.]
You sure you know that?
no subject
Date: 25 Mar 2016 07:00 (UTC)so he's not surprised when sam calls him out on it, annoying as it is. ]
I'm all right, Sam. [ he says, gently. ] But I'd definitely feel better if I knew you weren't choking on your own guilt for it.
no subject
Date: 27 Mar 2016 04:45 (UTC)Just a smidge.]
Any recommendations for stopping that?
... Other than drinking.
no subject
Date: 27 Mar 2016 06:50 (UTC)[ what? it's not drinking. and come on sam, it's harmless. ]
Really though, it's just - let's worry about what we've got goin' on here, all right? What's going on back home for you.. it's nothing. Let it slide for now, keep your eyes ahead, you know?
no subject
Date: 28 Mar 2016 07:50 (UTC)... Easier said than done.
But I'll work on it.
[... He huffs through his nose, smiling slightly.]
Never actually smoked weed. That'd be Dean's experience.
no subject
Date: 28 Mar 2016 08:43 (UTC)Good. Don't let me down, Sam.
[ he's teasing, but it's gentle, and he cracks again. ]
But seriously? Never? Never-ever?
no subject
Date: 28 Mar 2016 08:51 (UTC)... But he's so utterly good at that, Cas.
On the bright side, he cracks a more amused smile soon after.]
Friends in college tried to get me into it, but I was too busy studying and worrying about breaking the law. While I was working towards, you know. Law school.
no subject
Date: 29 Mar 2016 03:06 (UTC)and oh, sam, you really think law officials don't smoke weed? what a goody two-shoes. errybody like ta smoke a doobie sometimes, sammy. ]
Well that's cute. You should try it sometime. Better than booze, and no hangover.
no subject
Date: 31 Mar 2016 04:20 (UTC)Considering what I've already gotten into with the law... I guess -- why not?
Is weed even a common commodity in outer space?
no subject
Date: 31 Mar 2016 08:23 (UTC)[ he's grinning, though. ]
And yeah you'd be surprised. Different dimension or not, people like their fun, I suppose.
no subject
Date: 1 Apr 2016 09:01 (UTC)Aren't we technically on international waters out here?
How the hell can you decide what laws apply where?
no subject
Date: 1 Apr 2016 23:32 (UTC)[ S H R U G ]
So, no rules!
no subject
Date: 2 Apr 2016 05:58 (UTC)Considering I'm such a law-biding citizen.
no subject
Date: 2 Apr 2016 06:29 (UTC)[ an easy grin. ]
I'll roll one up for us sometime then. It's a promise.
no subject
Date: 15 Apr 2016 19:50 (UTC)[ Dean's coping mechanisms have sufficiently run dry; he can only beat the snot out of so many people and have the same done to him before it gets old. And really, there is not enough damn whiskey in the world to make him come close to feeling okay anymore. He's tired of the bars and he's tired of the toxic air and he's tired of being on a ship all by his goddamn lonesome.
So yeah, okay, he's waving his little white flag. He needs help. He needs you. ]
no subject
Date: 16 Apr 2016 01:08 (UTC)so he gives dean his space. he's always available, always ready, always glad to drag dean into the distractions he might need but he's sure not to ask too much of him, waits for dean to come to him as he always does.
the call wakes him from a nap, and cas groans, but picks it up anyway, yawning rudely right into the feed. ]
Hn.
no subject
Date: 16 Apr 2016 01:19 (UTC)Not even remotely surprised that he woke Cas up, Dean distantly thinks that he would nearly pay for the ability to sleep without ingesting heinous quantities of liquor, but he waits a moment, remaining particularly silent until Cas is done with his yawn. ]
I woke you up.
[ Does he feel bad about that? Nnnooope. ]
no subject
Date: 16 Apr 2016 03:51 (UTC)[ with a groan, cas rolls over onto his side, scrubbing a hand over his face, staring sleepily into the feed with hooded eyes. he's not gonna bother getting up. in fact, he's not even really going to bother keeping his eyes open, and they're shut again after a moment, his voice rough and groggy. ]
What's up?
no subject
Date: 16 Apr 2016 04:20 (UTC)I'm not spending tonight at another damn bar.
[ One can only hope that's worthy of... something. Though it probably just means he's tired of getting kicked out of them. ]
no subject
Date: 16 Apr 2016 04:45 (UTC)but cas knows him. ]
You c'n come visit, if you want. [ he says, words still slow and groggy. ] 'S pretty quiet.
no subject
Date: 16 Apr 2016 04:58 (UTC)It's all Dean can do to say yes please then and there but he manages to refrain, still glancing off as he tries to think. It's not as if he's searching for a way to say no, but he's looking for a way to convince himself that this - beyond the booze and the fistfights - is a perfectly acceptable way to cope. ]
You gonna fall back asleep?
no subject
Date: 16 Apr 2016 05:24 (UTC)Mm, maybe. No promises.
[ shutup and come over anyway. ]
no subject
Date: 16 Apr 2016 05:39 (UTC)I need anything special to get on board?
no subject
Date: 16 Apr 2016 06:56 (UTC)Nope, just beam yourself on over to the bridge. If you've got a Communications officer on board, they should be able to tell you how to get it done.
no subject
Date: 16 Apr 2016 12:26 (UTC)But seriously, beam himself. Dean's not sure how much more ridiculous this is going to get. ]
Give me a few minutes.
[ With that he disconnects to go figure this out. Which doesn't take too terribly long considering the people on board his own ship don't completely despise him yet. And Dean is just always so convincing..... Anyway, he eventually manages the whole thing and finds himself smoothly beamed onto the Red Fish, momentarily suspicious as he glances around, looking for Cas in an instant. ]