[ Dean almost feels worse the second Cas says it, that he'd come if Dean called. That he'd hop to in a heartbeat if that was what Dean demanded of him. And while it's undoubtedly tempting, a potential solution that Dean can't rightly look over, he won't let it happen, either. Not because he doesn't want it, but because Cas has every right to stay where he's comfortable.
Cas has had more than enough time to figure out where he'd like to be at this point, and it's not a disruption Dean feels egotistical enough to make. Maybe were they home, maybe had he not allowed them all to die- he doesn't know. And if guilt is the only reason he's refusing the option, then it's still a damn good reason and Dean stares forward, gaze trained onto Cas. ]
Shut up, it's not what I want.
[ But that's the altogether easy thing to say, before Dean's gaze skirts lower and he all but holds his breath, jaw tightening with further agitation. Because the solution to this is falling squarely on his shoulders, and isn't that always the way it goes? He can't ever seem to escape the choices he has to make, the things he has to do while simultaneously numbing himself from the inside out. ]
I'll talk to Sam.
[ One can only hope he doesn't implode in the process, a consequence he might be truly mulling over. ]
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Cas has had more than enough time to figure out where he'd like to be at this point, and it's not a disruption Dean feels egotistical enough to make. Maybe were they home, maybe had he not allowed them all to die- he doesn't know. And if guilt is the only reason he's refusing the option, then it's still a damn good reason and Dean stares forward, gaze trained onto Cas. ]
Shut up, it's not what I want.
[ But that's the altogether easy thing to say, before Dean's gaze skirts lower and he all but holds his breath, jaw tightening with further agitation. Because the solution to this is falling squarely on his shoulders, and isn't that always the way it goes? He can't ever seem to escape the choices he has to make, the things he has to do while simultaneously numbing himself from the inside out. ]
I'll talk to Sam.
[ One can only hope he doesn't implode in the process, a consequence he might be truly mulling over. ]