[ Dean would like to pretend he hasn't yet gotten to the part where he can even consider his own death. It's something he wishes he could skirt past on every given occasion, wishes he could shove to the furthest corners of his head and leave it to rot for another day. But that's just not how it works when his mind lets it froth to the surface near every other minute, a reminder that he failed so extraordinarily that finding himself worthy of anything is damn near impossible.
It's what made this hardest of all, letting himself settle when he doesn't deserve it. Letting himself have this when he doesn't deserve it. But he just can't crumble either, even if it's all he wants to do. Because there is always something to fight against, no matter if it means losing everything all over again.
Just let Cas keep this even if he's the one who has to give it all away. Give Cas one goddamn thing. ]
Bunk beds? [ Dean's eyebrows raise; skeptical yet somehow thankful that's not his arrangement either. ] Try barracks. Like a fucking sleepover.
[ Tracking Cas' gaze around his room, he stares down at the bed given as an offering, not entirely sure what to do with the prospects. If he's allowed, if he should, if that would somehow break all the rules he's created for himself. Not to mention- it's still Cas' space. ]
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It's what made this hardest of all, letting himself settle when he doesn't deserve it. Letting himself have this when he doesn't deserve it. But he just can't crumble either, even if it's all he wants to do. Because there is always something to fight against, no matter if it means losing everything all over again.
Just let Cas keep this even if he's the one who has to give it all away. Give Cas one goddamn thing. ]
Bunk beds? [ Dean's eyebrows raise; skeptical yet somehow thankful that's not his arrangement either. ] Try barracks. Like a fucking sleepover.
[ Tracking Cas' gaze around his room, he stares down at the bed given as an offering, not entirely sure what to do with the prospects. If he's allowed, if he should, if that would somehow break all the rules he's created for himself. Not to mention- it's still Cas' space. ]
I'm not taking your room.