[ Dean gives his head a shake - for all that he wants to believe in Cas' words, he can't yet. He's spent a good few weeks now stewing in the fact that he managed to fail at the one opportunity the world had hinged on since the fall had begun, an act he so desperately thought would work. It repeats, bitterly, through his mind any given number of times a day, Dean seeing the moment reflected back at him until he can't see anything else. His mind catches on his death occasionally, the moment before it all turned black, but mostly it's the failure. How he let everyone down, thought he had it all figured out when it turns out he'd only ever gotten it all wrong.

Lifting his face, Dean struggles to take a breath, his shoulders falling. He's fairly sure he should still be blamed for this, if only because he was the one who thought he had it all figured out, when he truly had no clue. He'd wanted to believe he had, the final answer that would solve their problem, and he'd relied on it until he'd sent them all to their demise. That's his fault, his failing, and he doesn't know how to let it go. ]

It's not all right, I should've known it was going to go that way. I thought- [ - what? dean doesn't even know what he thought any more, how he could've had as big of a head about it as he did when all he ever does is screw it up- ]

Doesn't matter what I thought, because it was wrong.

[ Dean's not even sure they did their best but at least he can attempt to believe that much. He just can't stand the thought that his failures are the only thing he's left behind in his own home, a world that will only crumble until it's gone altogether.

Staring at the opposing wall until he can't manage the welling tears, he ducks his face, fingers pushing back through his hair. ] I let you down.