[ "Little buddy" ? Jesus, Dean's regretting this already. And who the hell knows how long it'll even take Cas to get wherever he is to the ship. Probably depends how much weed he had in his pockets when he got here and if he's smoked it all yet.
This is a mistake. But then, really, so is most of Dean's life.
He waits in the kitchen of the Windrose, with the sandwiches on the counter next to all the pieces of the gun (or phaser or whatever it is) he's reassembling. ]
[ so he'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little nervous about this. it's been awhile since he's seen dean - either dean - which is weird enough, considering he's seen him all but every day for the past handful of years, but.. things have happened.
anyway, he's not nervous enough to avoid visiting him, and it'll be good to see dean with his own eyes, whole and hale and hearty, alive and real. so he stuffs the bottle of whiskey under his arm and sets out to where the windrose is docked, feeling only marginally anxious. taking a few hits an hour or so ago is helping to ease him along too, no doubt. either way, the hatch is open so he hops on in, and the place seems empty enough; surely everyone's, you know, actually out doing things on the station, not cramming themselves onto a tiny ship. but dean is a little bit special.
rapping his knuckles on the archway, cas stares down dean's back, hovering in the doorway. ]
[ Must be weird in a hundred ways for Cas, sure. But Dean's used to Cas being independent, always doing his own thing. Going days or even weeks without seeing him's no big deal, with only some exceptions. On a place like this? He's not worried about him.
Although, admittedly, he worries more about this version of Cas, the human one, for a whole mess of reasons. So he's actually surprised when Cas shows up, and glad to see he's still doing alright out of his element. (But of course he is. Even human, even stoned, even at the end of the world, Cas is Cas.)
Which, uh, makes the pizza joke a little weird. But this Cas probably doesn't even know about that euphemism, right?
Dean turns from the gun(?), smiling. ]
Why, you bring one? I wouldn't say no, but if you didn't bring something with alcohol in it... No ante, no dice, pal.
[ He leans on the counter, blocking Cas's view of the PB&J for emphasis. Of course, Dean's just joking around, would give it to him anyway, even for free. But man, he could really use a drink. His mouth's all but watering just thinking about it. ]
[ yeah sorry dean, cas hasn't experienced that particular reference. a shame he's never really gotten to watch porn, but there's no tv in post-apocalypse wasteland. too bad, really, but hey, he makes his own porn.
at anyway, dean's smile lights up something warm in him, that same familiar pull he'd felt when dean showed up in his timeline, young and vibrant and so, so different from what he'd grown accustomed to. and he looks older now, thicker and with more lines, but his eyes are still the same, still soft and warm without that cold, steely brokenness in them.
it feels a little like betrayal, that he prefers this dean. ]
Pretty demanding, for a thirsty man in need.
[ he says, lifting the bottle from under his arm. it's unlabeled, but filled with what certainly looks like whiskey, amber and inviting. cas meanders nearer to the table, and gives it a little shake. ]
[ Yeah, because an unlabeled bottle isn't at all suspicious. Dean eyes it critically from where he's leaning on the counter.... But lucky for Cas, he's desperate. Just thinking about this cramped, clunky old thing shooting off into space is enough to get his stomach churning, and he needs a drink of something, anything, bad. So yeah, he'll take, label or not.
He stands, and sits, chair tilted back, at one side of the counter, kicking out the chair opposite for Cas to join him and claim his prize. ]
I don't want to hear it from the guy extorting his friends for PB and J.
[ The phaser's almost back to being in one piece, so Dean slots the last couple together while Cas gets settled, eyes on his work. See? He's not desperate for what's in that bottle Cas brought. He's totally cool with this whole adventure through space. Absolutely. ]
[ yeah sure dean, totally comfortable, not desperate at all. cas totally buys that.
either way, he drops heavily into the chair anyway and slides the whiskey bottle across the table toward him before sitting back, and stretching his legs out comfortably in front of him, crossed at the ankles. ]
Extorting isn't a very nice word. You should have just brought me those sandwiches out of the goodness of your heart.
Yeah, well... [ He trails off, looking down at the bottle as he picks it up off the table, then admits. ] You're right. Probably should've.
Truth is, I'm not so good at flying.
[ He says, even though Cas already knows it, and Dean knows he does, from what he'd said before. But that's where he's got to start before he can get to the next part. He unscrews the top of the bottle, but just holds it in his hands, flipping the lid in circles between two fingers. ]
...I'm not taking it so well.
[ He pauses there, means to go on about it, but in the end he leaves it at that, and just takes a sip right from the bottle instead. He smacks his lips after and finally looks up at Cas again, tilting the bottle and his chin up in acknowledgment. ]
Thanks. Soon as I find out what counts for cash around here, I'll pay you for the bottle.
[ cas is quiet, watching the way dean fiddles the bottlecap between his fingers, the way his eyes drop and his voice quiets in a way cas is entirely familiar with. he's been living in close quarters with dean for years now, and dean certainly hasn't gotten more talkative with time, that's for sure, so cas has gotten good at reading him, knows all of his expressions, even the soft, subtle ones. it's the only real language they have, anymore.
but he doesn't say anything, because like all the rest, it doesn't come naturally to him anymore. cas shakes his head, then lifts a hand palm out before reaching into his front pocket for his pack of smokes. ]
No, Dean, don't be ridiculous, you don't have to.
[ and he wouldn't expect it, anyway. pay him for something? please. pulling a cigarette between his lips, cas lights up and sucks deep, speaking through his smoking exhale. ]
[ Dean finally looks up at the sound of a lighter, sees the cigarette and is surprised it's not something stronger. ]
Right.
[ He lies, fully intending to pay Cas back in cash, or a bottle of something else, or anything worth more than a couple sandwiches, soon as he's able to get outside and earn some cash. In the meantime... There's nothing else to do. He drinks from the bottle quietly, and takes his comfort from Cas's presence, even if it's different from what it should be. He may be from the end of their world, but it was still their world, and Cas still feels like home. ]
You doing okay?
[ He finally asks, head still titled down a little but eyes up. With the whole space-reality-TV-show, he means. But also with seeing him, and Sam, and Castiel. And everything. There are a lot of feelings worse than a mostly irrational fear of flying, Dean knows. ]
[ space weed is expensive as hell, dean, he's got to ration carefully.
dean's asking if he's okay, though, as if he's really expecting a straight answer, and cas can't help the wry grin around his cigarette. he's thoughtful for a little while, brows drawn up tight over his eyes. ]
I'm.. yeah, you know, not bad.
[ he says, and it's not even a lie, really. everything that happened in 2014.. it's still something he needs to process, something he's not sure he'll ever really be able to process, truth be told, but here? on these ships, on this station, right now? it's better than anything he's felt in years. he might not deserve whatever second chance this place is giving him, but you know, he's happier here, in a lot of ways. ]
Beats going home, that's for sure. But you could have guessed that.
[ Dean answers, watching Cas carefully, remembering those three days he spent in that version of 2014 like a bad dream made real. Eventually, he looks down and keeps going. ]
You know... I don't know if Sam told you, or if anybody did... After, uh, the whole thing with Zachariah.. I went back to '09, and I called Sam. And we fixed things. Me and Sam, and you... The uh... The angel you. And Bobby, and Jo and Ellen...
[ He trails off for a second at the thought before resuming the story, and finally looking up again. ]
The apocalypse never happened. The virus never got released. Sam said yes to Lucifer, and he dragged his ass, along with Michael, back into the cage.
[ It wasn't exactly a best-case scenario, and they lost a hell of a lot doing it. But they saved the world. That place this Cas remembers never happened, and that's a lot.
Dean finally sets the whiskey bottle back on the table and slides it over to Cas with the last few words. ]
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[ Because Dean, maybe, is scared of leaving. But like hell he'd admit it. ]
If you think I'm carrying sandwiches around in my pockets for a walk out on the space station, you're nuts.
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All right, sit tight little buddy. I'll be there soon.
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This is a mistake. But then, really, so is most of Dean's life.
He waits in the kitchen of the Windrose, with the sandwiches on the counter next to all the pieces of the gun (or phaser or whatever it is) he's reassembling. ]
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anyway, he's not nervous enough to avoid visiting him, and it'll be good to see dean with his own eyes, whole and hale and hearty, alive and real. so he stuffs the bottle of whiskey under his arm and sets out to where the windrose is docked, feeling only marginally anxious. taking a few hits an hour or so ago is helping to ease him along too, no doubt. either way, the hatch is open so he hops on in, and the place seems empty enough; surely everyone's, you know, actually out doing things on the station, not cramming themselves onto a tiny ship. but dean is a little bit special.
rapping his knuckles on the archway, cas stares down dean's back, hovering in the doorway. ]
So, uh.. someone call for a pizza?
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Although, admittedly, he worries more about this version of Cas, the human one, for a whole mess of reasons. So he's actually surprised when Cas shows up, and glad to see he's still doing alright out of his element. (But of course he is. Even human, even stoned, even at the end of the world, Cas is Cas.)
Which, uh, makes the pizza joke a little weird. But this Cas probably doesn't even know about that euphemism, right?
Dean turns from the gun(?), smiling. ]
Why, you bring one? I wouldn't say no, but if you didn't bring something with alcohol in it... No ante, no dice, pal.
[ He leans on the counter, blocking Cas's view of the PB&J for emphasis. Of course, Dean's just joking around, would give it to him anyway, even for free. But man, he could really use a drink. His mouth's all but watering just thinking about it. ]
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at anyway, dean's smile lights up something warm in him, that same familiar pull he'd felt when dean showed up in his timeline, young and vibrant and so, so different from what he'd grown accustomed to. and he looks older now, thicker and with more lines, but his eyes are still the same, still soft and warm without that cold, steely brokenness in them.
it feels a little like betrayal, that he prefers this dean. ]
Pretty demanding, for a thirsty man in need.
[ he says, lifting the bottle from under his arm. it's unlabeled, but filled with what certainly looks like whiskey, amber and inviting. cas meanders nearer to the table, and gives it a little shake. ]
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He stands, and sits, chair tilted back, at one side of the counter, kicking out the chair opposite for Cas to join him and claim his prize. ]
I don't want to hear it from the guy extorting his friends for PB and J.
[ The phaser's almost back to being in one piece, so Dean slots the last couple together while Cas gets settled, eyes on his work. See? He's not desperate for what's in that bottle Cas brought. He's totally cool with this whole adventure through space. Absolutely. ]
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either way, he drops heavily into the chair anyway and slides the whiskey bottle across the table toward him before sitting back, and stretching his legs out comfortably in front of him, crossed at the ankles. ]
Extorting isn't a very nice word. You should have just brought me those sandwiches out of the goodness of your heart.
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Truth is, I'm not so good at flying.
[ He says, even though Cas already knows it, and Dean knows he does, from what he'd said before. But that's where he's got to start before he can get to the next part. He unscrews the top of the bottle, but just holds it in his hands, flipping the lid in circles between two fingers. ]
...I'm not taking it so well.
[ He pauses there, means to go on about it, but in the end he leaves it at that, and just takes a sip right from the bottle instead. He smacks his lips after and finally looks up at Cas again, tilting the bottle and his chin up in acknowledgment. ]
Thanks. Soon as I find out what counts for cash around here, I'll pay you for the bottle.
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but he doesn't say anything, because like all the rest, it doesn't come naturally to him anymore. cas shakes his head, then lifts a hand palm out before reaching into his front pocket for his pack of smokes. ]
No, Dean, don't be ridiculous, you don't have to.
[ and he wouldn't expect it, anyway. pay him for something? please. pulling a cigarette between his lips, cas lights up and sucks deep, speaking through his smoking exhale. ]
Think of it as a welcome gift, right?
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Right.
[ He lies, fully intending to pay Cas back in cash, or a bottle of something else, or anything worth more than a couple sandwiches, soon as he's able to get outside and earn some cash. In the meantime... There's nothing else to do. He drinks from the bottle quietly, and takes his comfort from Cas's presence, even if it's different from what it should be. He may be from the end of their world, but it was still their world, and Cas still feels like home. ]
You doing okay?
[ He finally asks, head still titled down a little but eyes up. With the whole space-reality-TV-show, he means. But also with seeing him, and Sam, and Castiel. And everything. There are a lot of feelings worse than a mostly irrational fear of flying, Dean knows. ]
It ain't Kansas.
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dean's asking if he's okay, though, as if he's really expecting a straight answer, and cas can't help the wry grin around his cigarette. he's thoughtful for a little while, brows drawn up tight over his eyes. ]
I'm.. yeah, you know, not bad.
[ he says, and it's not even a lie, really. everything that happened in 2014.. it's still something he needs to process, something he's not sure he'll ever really be able to process, truth be told, but here? on these ships, on this station, right now? it's better than anything he's felt in years. he might not deserve whatever second chance this place is giving him, but you know, he's happier here, in a lot of ways. ]
Beats going home, that's for sure. But you could have guessed that.
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[ Dean answers, watching Cas carefully, remembering those three days he spent in that version of 2014 like a bad dream made real. Eventually, he looks down and keeps going. ]
You know... I don't know if Sam told you, or if anybody did... After, uh, the whole thing with Zachariah.. I went back to '09, and I called Sam. And we fixed things. Me and Sam, and you... The uh... The angel you. And Bobby, and Jo and Ellen...
[ He trails off for a second at the thought before resuming the story, and finally looking up again. ]
The apocalypse never happened. The virus never got released. Sam said yes to Lucifer, and he dragged his ass, along with Michael, back into the cage.
[ It wasn't exactly a best-case scenario, and they lost a hell of a lot doing it. But they saved the world. That place this Cas remembers never happened, and that's a lot.
Dean finally sets the whiskey bottle back on the table and slides it over to Cas with the last few words. ]
We did alright.