[ cas is quiet, watching the way dean fiddles the bottlecap between his fingers, the way his eyes drop and his voice quiets in a way cas is entirely familiar with. he's been living in close quarters with dean for years now, and dean certainly hasn't gotten more talkative with time, that's for sure, so cas has gotten good at reading him, knows all of his expressions, even the soft, subtle ones. it's the only real language they have, anymore.
but he doesn't say anything, because like all the rest, it doesn't come naturally to him anymore. cas shakes his head, then lifts a hand palm out before reaching into his front pocket for his pack of smokes. ]
No, Dean, don't be ridiculous, you don't have to.
[ and he wouldn't expect it, anyway. pay him for something? please. pulling a cigarette between his lips, cas lights up and sucks deep, speaking through his smoking exhale. ]
[ Dean finally looks up at the sound of a lighter, sees the cigarette and is surprised it's not something stronger. ]
Right.
[ He lies, fully intending to pay Cas back in cash, or a bottle of something else, or anything worth more than a couple sandwiches, soon as he's able to get outside and earn some cash. In the meantime... There's nothing else to do. He drinks from the bottle quietly, and takes his comfort from Cas's presence, even if it's different from what it should be. He may be from the end of their world, but it was still their world, and Cas still feels like home. ]
You doing okay?
[ He finally asks, head still titled down a little but eyes up. With the whole space-reality-TV-show, he means. But also with seeing him, and Sam, and Castiel. And everything. There are a lot of feelings worse than a mostly irrational fear of flying, Dean knows. ]
[ space weed is expensive as hell, dean, he's got to ration carefully.
dean's asking if he's okay, though, as if he's really expecting a straight answer, and cas can't help the wry grin around his cigarette. he's thoughtful for a little while, brows drawn up tight over his eyes. ]
I'm.. yeah, you know, not bad.
[ he says, and it's not even a lie, really. everything that happened in 2014.. it's still something he needs to process, something he's not sure he'll ever really be able to process, truth be told, but here? on these ships, on this station, right now? it's better than anything he's felt in years. he might not deserve whatever second chance this place is giving him, but you know, he's happier here, in a lot of ways. ]
Beats going home, that's for sure. But you could have guessed that.
[ Dean answers, watching Cas carefully, remembering those three days he spent in that version of 2014 like a bad dream made real. Eventually, he looks down and keeps going. ]
You know... I don't know if Sam told you, or if anybody did... After, uh, the whole thing with Zachariah.. I went back to '09, and I called Sam. And we fixed things. Me and Sam, and you... The uh... The angel you. And Bobby, and Jo and Ellen...
[ He trails off for a second at the thought before resuming the story, and finally looking up again. ]
The apocalypse never happened. The virus never got released. Sam said yes to Lucifer, and he dragged his ass, along with Michael, back into the cage.
[ It wasn't exactly a best-case scenario, and they lost a hell of a lot doing it. But they saved the world. That place this Cas remembers never happened, and that's a lot.
Dean finally sets the whiskey bottle back on the table and slides it over to Cas with the last few words. ]
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no subject
Date: 13 Feb 2016 06:41 (UTC)but he doesn't say anything, because like all the rest, it doesn't come naturally to him anymore. cas shakes his head, then lifts a hand palm out before reaching into his front pocket for his pack of smokes. ]
No, Dean, don't be ridiculous, you don't have to.
[ and he wouldn't expect it, anyway. pay him for something? please. pulling a cigarette between his lips, cas lights up and sucks deep, speaking through his smoking exhale. ]
Think of it as a welcome gift, right?
no subject
Date: 15 Feb 2016 20:55 (UTC)Right.
[ He lies, fully intending to pay Cas back in cash, or a bottle of something else, or anything worth more than a couple sandwiches, soon as he's able to get outside and earn some cash. In the meantime... There's nothing else to do. He drinks from the bottle quietly, and takes his comfort from Cas's presence, even if it's different from what it should be. He may be from the end of their world, but it was still their world, and Cas still feels like home. ]
You doing okay?
[ He finally asks, head still titled down a little but eyes up. With the whole space-reality-TV-show, he means. But also with seeing him, and Sam, and Castiel. And everything. There are a lot of feelings worse than a mostly irrational fear of flying, Dean knows. ]
It ain't Kansas.
no subject
Date: 16 Feb 2016 22:24 (UTC)dean's asking if he's okay, though, as if he's really expecting a straight answer, and cas can't help the wry grin around his cigarette. he's thoughtful for a little while, brows drawn up tight over his eyes. ]
I'm.. yeah, you know, not bad.
[ he says, and it's not even a lie, really. everything that happened in 2014.. it's still something he needs to process, something he's not sure he'll ever really be able to process, truth be told, but here? on these ships, on this station, right now? it's better than anything he's felt in years. he might not deserve whatever second chance this place is giving him, but you know, he's happier here, in a lot of ways. ]
Beats going home, that's for sure. But you could have guessed that.
no subject
Date: 21 Feb 2016 23:20 (UTC)[ Dean answers, watching Cas carefully, remembering those three days he spent in that version of 2014 like a bad dream made real. Eventually, he looks down and keeps going. ]
You know... I don't know if Sam told you, or if anybody did... After, uh, the whole thing with Zachariah.. I went back to '09, and I called Sam. And we fixed things. Me and Sam, and you... The uh... The angel you. And Bobby, and Jo and Ellen...
[ He trails off for a second at the thought before resuming the story, and finally looking up again. ]
The apocalypse never happened. The virus never got released. Sam said yes to Lucifer, and he dragged his ass, along with Michael, back into the cage.
[ It wasn't exactly a best-case scenario, and they lost a hell of a lot doing it. But they saved the world. That place this Cas remembers never happened, and that's a lot.
Dean finally sets the whiskey bottle back on the table and slides it over to Cas with the last few words. ]
We did alright.